Walking Through the Holidays with a Grieving Heart
Welcome to week 1 of this series. I’m glad you’re here.
The holiday season is right around the corner. For some of us, we are filled to the brim with excitement, while others of us feel a heavy heart. Some of us have an empty chair this year and the thought of going through this time of year brings sickness to our souls instead of joy.
You are not alone.
How do we know what to feel? Will anyone understand just what I’m feeling? How will I make it through? Can’t it all just be over already?
Like you, I know grief. I have lived it. While our stories may not be the exact same, I want you to know you are seen and known. If I’ve learned anything, it’s important to take care of yourself. To embrace all of the feelings and to give yourself kindness. Grieving is a process. You unfortunately cannot expect overnight results.
And a disclaimer early on - Nothing I can say will take away your pain. No amount of words will erase the ache. I am so sorry for your loss.
In my own experiences with grief, I’ve come to cling to some truths that give me hope the more I’ve studied them. Over the next few weeks, I want to unpack the ideas with you. I’m praying they will find your heart, wherever you may be, and remind you that you are not alone. Even in the hustle and bustle of this season.
I challenge you to make the choice to reign in grief this season. Embrace it for all that it is and allow God to work through your ache to form something so beautiful. We will unpack number one today.
Grief Truths:
Grief will be painful.
We must be patient in it.
Grief is a personal journey.
Choose to be present in it.
Grief will be painful.
You’re probably thinking - “Yes, thank you for the obvious.” It doesn’t matter the reason, but when grief is present, there will be pain and heartbreak.
Thanks to the knowledge and teaching of my counselor, I have come to realize the importance of sitting in the midst of our pain. It seemed so foreign to me initially but taking time to sit in moments that bring us pain or anxiety, will be the moments in which we become stronger.
You see, I was always one who would run away from pain. From confrontation, anger, or change. I am in the recovery process of not submerging my emotions anymore.
My counselor explained to me the importance of being aware of my emotions. To recognize triggers and to not be so quick to run away or hide in fear that each and every little thing could or would set me off. The importance of effective coping and how it starts with knowing where we are.
As we journey closer to the holiday season, be honest with yourself. It’s okay to let ourselves feel pain. Feel the hurt. Embrace the uncomfortable. Let the tears fall. Swipe through photos and reminisce on precious memories. Someone you love is not physically here, but their memories most certainly are.
Be honest with yourself, but also with others, perhaps those closest to you. Don’t believe the lie that you’re in this alone. God has a plan for your life, even if it seems like nothing makes sense right now. Don’t be so brave that you don’t take care of yourself. You are entitled to days when you feel off. It’s part of the journey toward healing.
The pain will not last forever. Your loved one will always be missed, but the pain will grow into the blessing of those precious memories. Cling to them today and know that God wants to be your comfort during this season. May you be able to sense the Hope of this holiday season edging closer to you today.
John 16:33 - NKJV
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
God has overcome our troubles. Rejoice in that today. He is here to bring us comfort during this season. Believe it and accept it, friends.
Be sure to come back next week as we unpack another way to reign in our grief this season.
