Um, Hello, Imposter?

Photo Credit: Sarah Tucker, White Oak Films

Have you ever heard of imposter syndrome?

It’s okay if you haven’t. I didn’t spend much time ever thinking about it until I wrote a book. Psychology Today describes imposter syndrome as a feeling that you are undeserving of achievements.

Writing a book has been hard on so many levels. It has not only taken much time and patience, but it has also required a huge leap of faith in order to be proud of myself. To speak with confidence about what I have accomplished.

For someone who is introverted, speaking in public is terrifying. It’s also a nerve-wracking endeavor to put yourself out there. Sharing in conversations, on social media, or through other forms of marketing has been a source of anxiety. My confidence has been shaken more than once, and it’s an area that I am desperately trying to repair day by day.

I have long since struggled in the area of self-confidence. It’s been present in my life long before I decided to write and publish a book. There have been many moments along this writing journey when I have almost caved. Given up on this dream and believed that I was undeserving of this accomplishment. True imposter syndrome at work.

I haven’t been able to get to this point on my own. It’s true what they say about trying to do life on your own. It doesn’t work, nor is it good. For someone with anxiety, battling depression, and any sort of confidence struggles, I needed good people in my corner.

My writing coach, Author Hannah Brencher, encouraged me time after time throughout my writing journey to keep showing up. Even on the days that were hard or the weeks in which I felt inadequate to pursue this dream. And on the many days in which I felt words would not come, I was reminded to keep at it. She knew the process would have difficult moments, and she was there to help prepare me and motivate me to continue the work. And I’m so glad I did.

As Hannah said once during our time together, “Don’t lead from a place of fear.” I’m learning to sit in the moments that bring me anxious feelings longer and longer. They are being used by God to shape me and grow me into the woman He has planned for me to be. I’m learning that by sitting in my anxiety more than the previous time, I am stronger and more capable than I ever thought.

I’ve had to come to a place where I’m proud of what I have accomplished. That I am a writer, a blogger, AND an author. I’m far from an imposter. So…bye, Satan, not today! Don’t give up on the dreams that you have. God is ready to use you to do big things. Like me, it may be a work in progress, but God is okay with that!

Psalm 71:20 NIV

Though you have made me see troubles,
    many and bitter,
    you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
    you will again bring me up.