Today, I Made Brownies
Sometimes we forget to be proud of ourselves for showing up. We forget that even when life is hard or we feel overwhelmed, that we are still accomplishing things every day. I want us to spend a few weeks celebrating all of the little victories. I want to challenge you to see the small things. To learn to appreciate them and pat yourself on the back for showing up. What are you proud of today?
Today, I made brownies.
It doesn’t sound like a lot. It’s far from fancy. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, or overly exceptional.
I opened a box of brownie mix. I added some water, some oil, and a couple of eggs. I mixed it up, put the batter in a baking dish, and set the timer on my oven for twenty-four minutes.
A mediocre task for many.
But for me, it was a victory.
Living in the grip of anxiety and depression is challenging. It changes you. It causes you to come to the end of yourself. Only there can you truly appreciate even the smallest of things. You have reason to be thankful when you’ve fought for your life. For now, you see things a bit differently.
You choose to be kind to a stranger and hold the door for them. You choose to pick up trash on the side of the road. You choose to take a meal to a friend who may be going through a tough season. Perhaps others do not understand why you’re living differently, but you know. You know how hard it’s been to keep it all together. To go about your daily activities and take care of the mounting list of responsibilities you have to complete. You know how hard it is to live as if everything is okay when it’s far from the truth. You have felt the weight of darkness and you’re fighting for the light.
In the storm, you are thankful for each breath of fresh air. Every glimpse of sunshine during rain. A gentle breeze touching your face, cooling your soul and mind.
All of your senses are heightened in the storm. You’re fighting with all you have and sometimes you’re just exhausted. Mustering up the energy to do even the smallest tasks is hard. It seems impossible when you’re deep in the fight.
So, for today, I am going to celebrate making brownies. I am proud of myself for doing something. For mustering up a little bit of courage and strength to keep showing up. This is today’s victory. Tomorrow, I will try for something else. Today I am going to pat myself on the back for working with my hands and standing on my two feet. I will rest with gratitude and accomplishment for the girl who made brownies today.
I didn’t give up today. I didn’t give into the enemy’s game of tug of war. The depression and anxiety are still strong but I’m still fighting.
Today I’m proud that I made brownies.
For those of you in the midst of a storm, I pray that today you don’t feel shame. Don’t beat yourself up. Keep showing up day by day and celebrate the small victories. Because they matter. You matter. You will get through this season. I understand the dark is dark. But the light is coming.
For those of you who might not be in a storm, be kind. You truly never know what battles others are facing. Be quick to listen and slow to criticize. Be a light of encouragement to those around you. If you know someone struggling with anxiety and depression, love them fearlessly. Pray them through this season. The darkness feels like quicksand, so extend a hand to them and be patient. The light is on the horizon.
Psalm 89:21-22, CSB
My hand will always be with him, and my arm will strengthen him.
The enemy will not oppress him; the wicked will not afflict him.
