Choosing to Begin Again

“Joy comes.

Tears fall.

I’m learning there is beauty in it all.

It’s not hard to find it.

You just have to look.

Oh, God is good.”

https://youtu.be/BbXjgwDHNpQ - God is Good - Fracesca Battestelli

Somewhere, somehow on our journey through life, we come to know pain.  We start by feeling skinned knees after falling off our bicycle.  A tummy ache keeps us up at night.  Hurt feelings when no one wants to play with us during recess.

We then feel a broken heart when the relationship didn’t work.  We face loss.  A life-changing diagnosis is found.  Financially, we may wonder how to pay the next set of bills.  The job didn’t pan out as we thought.

I’m sure there are many other facets of difficulties we could list.  No one is immune to pain and difficulty.  Sometimes we know why, yet others have us wondering.

Even though we encounter pain, we can have a reason for joy.  At least, I hope we can come to see the beauty in all of life.  It’s there.

If I can be vulnerable for a minute, I’m learning to begin again in this life.  Learning to embrace the good right along with the bad.  Choosing to talk about the thick fog I feel like I’ve been stuck in for a while.  Embracing the life I have and the chance to become the woman God made me be.

Why choose to talk about it?

I’m choosing to acknowledge that yes, I may be weak and go through ups and downs, but my strength comes from God.  Just because I love Jesus doesn’t make me immune from adversity.  Through Him, I have the strength to embrace each moment.

Anxiety, fear, worry, depression. These are no stranger to me.  I firmly believe they are tactics the enemy is trying to use to destroy the person I am trying so hard to become.

The struggle is real to me.

It seeps into my home, my marriage, my time with family and friends, my career, and the activities I enjoy.  But most of all, I have questioned God.  Why me?

I’ve felt very low.

But, even amidst the sometimes painful journey, I am realizing all of the blessings around me.  Though I have questioned God, I haven’t lost my faith.  Faith to believe that there is more to this life.

By the grace of God and with the love of my family, diligence to counseling with perseverance, supportive friends, and even medication, I am realizing just who I am in the eyes of God.  That I am a loved daughter of the King of Kings with an opportunity to impact lives for His glory.  I am not ashamed of my journey, because I am learning so much.

If I can encourage you - wherever you are on your journey, to know that God is still right there with you.  Lean into Him in ways you never have before.  Allow Him to heal your heart and strengthen you as you grow.

Give yourself grace.

One of the most important things my counselor shared with me during our first session together.  Talk about your pain.   Embrace the healing journey and be amazed at how you can be used by God.

I’ve felt joys.  I’ve cried many tears.  But as the song I referenced in the beginning - I’m learning there is beauty in it all.  I’m certainly no masterpiece but just as those who have stood by cheering me on, I want to do the same for you.

You are important.

Your story could change the world.

Choose to begin again.