Walking Through the Holidays With a Grieving Heart
We are over halfway through our grief series this holiday season. Welcome to week 3 of 4. I’m so glad you’re back.
As we all know, grief is a difficult journey. Add in the holidays and our emotions become unstable. There’s a lot going on, and places to be, and so often we find we aren’t taking care of ourselves well. Especially if we are putting on a brave face when we go about our days.
Embracing our grief, we’ve been unpacking four truths about grief and healing through it. If you’ve missed the first two, don’t worry, you can read them here if you’d like.
Grief Truths:
Grief will be painful.
We must be patient in it.
Grief is a personal journey.
We must choose to be present in it.
Today we are going to unpack number three, grief is a personal journey.
I want you to know today that you are in control of this journey. This journey of grief is yours. Though I also share in grief, it is not in the same way as you do. Though we can identify with those who have lost a spouse, a parent, a friend, or a child, it's still not one hundred percent the same experience.
With that being said, accept your thoughts and emotions. You may not want to and trust me I don’t know anyone who says they enjoy a grief journey. I think it’s important to be kind to ourselves when we grieve.
Give yourself grace.
I will never get tired of sharing this crucial piece of advice from my counselor. It has saved my life. The realization that I don’t have to be ashamed about whatever emotions I am encountering has been life-changing. Especially during a season of grief.
There is also the realization that we don’t have to “have it all together” all of the time. Our society and our world don’t share that idea, but let's choose to stray from the norm. Don’t set yourself up for tough moments because you’re trying to be somebody you’re not.
Be willing to be present in the moments and present in the emotions. Grief is real and the thought of heading into the holidays or celebrating Christmas without that special person in your life is painful. There is no way out of the pain. So many times, we try to mask the pain and hurt without facing it with a deep breath and our heads held high.
Be brave with your closest circle of people. Don’t believe the lie that you have to do this alone. You don’t have to be at all the gatherings this season. Do what feels comfortable to you and give yourself permission to check in with yourself frequently.
Remember that this journey is unique to you even when there are others grieving the same loss. Validate your emotions and your surroundings. Know that you have a Shepherd walking with you, providing you with the comfort and the support you need no matter how dark the nights may seem.
Psalm 23 - NIV
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Father - Thank You that no matter where my life’s journey takes me, I do not have to fear because You are with me and You will hold me securely.
