Forgiveness is Hard
“Failing to forgive enemies indicates a lack of trust in the Gospel.”
(I can’t take the credit for that sentence; it was written in the margin of my Bible. I had to go back and read it again to fully take it in.)
Forgiveness is not meant to be easy. It’s meant to challenge us. For, in the end, forgiveness changes us.
There will come a time in life in which all of us will be hurt by the words and/or actions of others. We will not agree with choices made or decisions others choose for the direction of their lives. There is no “if” it will happen, but merely when.
As products of the fall, there is no perfect person or situation. No matter how hard we try, we are not perfect. There will come times when we make mistakes and times in which others make mistakes that affect us. So, what do we do?
To respond with forgiveness is hard. Especially when the one who hurt us is someone we love and cherish. Forgiveness is hard when the actions of someone cost our loved one their life. Forgiveness is hard when a family is destroyed. Forgiveness is hard when the pain is so deep that we cannot see a way out or the light of healing.
My pastor, Pastor Scott, said in a sermon recently - “It is impossible to be right with God and not right with others. The forgiven, forgive.”
It’s no coincidence that the Bible talks about forgiveness, A LOT. The concept is mentioned more than 40 times in the New Testament alone. Jesus taught on the topic, and it was included in several of the New Testament books.
Jesus often taught in parables. Shorter stories that connected to his audience in ways they could remember and share with others. In Matthew 18, Jesus teaches on the topic of forgiveness.
Matthew 18:21-35, ESV
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Can you imagine for a moment? You are offered such compassion, such love. This is the gift of Jesus, the gift of grace. The servant wanted grace extended to him at the moment, yet he was unwilling to extend that same grace to someone else in their moment of need.
It's not about getting even. It's not about getting right. It’s not about having the upper hand. Forgiveness is evidence of a complete trust in God. Trusting that His ways are best and that in the end, only God can judge one’s heart.
I don’t know what you’ve been through. I don’t know the ways your heart has been hurt. I don’t know how things will work out. Like you, there have been seasons of hurt in my own life too. I’m praying that I can be a picture of Jesus in my times of hurt. When I am wronged, I want to extend forgiveness and love. I’m not “okaying” or allowing someone’s behavior to continue because God has taught me a lot about healthy boundaries, but I can extend forgiveness so that the pain does not hold me back from living life as God has planned for me. May we be bearers of love and grace. This world sure needs both.
Proverbs 25:21-22; Proverbs 26:24, ESV
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart.
