Do You Hear Me?

There is still good. It may be some tough stuff going on, but there is still good. I believe this to be true.

I can write today and say this because I have been living in the not-so-good. I can write honestly and share pieces of my heart to remind you that you are not alone. Each day brings a chance to start over and take a deep breath.

I have been learning how important it is to be honest with God. To share how we are really doing on the inside. Yes, He already knows, but there’s something about speaking it out to God. Letting the words roll off our tongue, followed by real emotions.

God isn’t scared of our real. I hope you know that. I’ve been learning how important it is to get it all out to God. To not hold anything back. God isn’t taken aback by my fears, frustrations, deepest hurts, or pains. For me, learning to speak truthfully to God is healing.

I found myself reading Psalm 13 recently. If I had been sitting across the table from David, I could have said, “I feel ya, man.” None of us are immune to days in which we feel off or like nothing can go right. There are some days I am wondering what God is up to because, honestly, He has forgotten about me. I know God doesn’t forget about us, but in my weak moments, sometimes that is where I go.

Psalm 13, The Message Translation

Long enough, God—you’ve ignored me long enough. I’ve looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough I’ve carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain. Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me.

Take a good look at me, God, my God; I want to look life in the eye, So no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face.

I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—I’m celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers.

We see here the amount of anguish David expressed to God. There are times for all of us when we have felt forgotten. Everyone else is getting their dream delivered to the door while mine is being dashed with each passing moment. There are moments for all of us in which we feel like the sand castle we spent hours creating is demolished within seconds. It’s life, and it happens to us all. There is no perfect life.

There’s power in honesty. For there, God meets us. We are humbled through those moments because God can provide us with a sense of peace that can only come from Him.

I cannot tell you how many times I have just sat down (or laid down) in the middle of my bathroom floor and said, “God - I’m so tired.” Tired physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Waiting is hard. Deadlines are hard. Some days are long. Some conversations are tough. No matter how many times I fall down, God meets me there and helps me back up.

Jesus did the same thing before He died on the Cross. He cried out to God. He expressed His anguish. He was honest. (See Matthew 26:38-39)

Even amidst my honest cries, I still have some tough days. I’m sure you do too. But even in all the mess that may be around me, the end of Psalm 13 is true. I trust in the God who holds it all in His Hands. As the Message translation reads - “I’m so full of answered prayers.”

May we become stronger people in our honest moments. May we never grow out of meeting with God. May we continue to see all the good that He is working for us, even when it is hard.